Category Archives: Adventures of a Geeky Dad

To Con or Not to Con-With Kids Edition

Looking at the Facebook page for Salt Lake Comic Con, one of the most discussed questions has been whether people should bring their little ones to the Con.  This is a tough question and the responses on the page have ranged from yes, absolutely to don’t do it.  They also offer up a lot of advice of what to do if you bring your kids to make the most of it.  As a father of 5 (yes, I know, that’s a lot), I feel like I might be able to share my two cents here.  You can take this as advice for what you should do, or not.  Really, it is just me telling you what I would do.

To answer the question in the simplest way, I say YES, bring your kids.  I think as geeks and nerds we have a responsibility, if we have successfully reproduced, to bring our kids to these things and begin raising the next generation of geeks and nerds.  Plus, honestly, when you were a kid, was there anything you wanted more than knowing that your parents were into the same stuff you were?  Obviously, Salt Lake Comic Con wants you to bring the little ones, because 2 kids under 10 get in free with a paying adult.  This means we will only have to pay for one of our kids if we bring all 5 (more on that later).  They will have plenty for your kids to see and do, so bring them and enjoy it.  They are welcome.  You will hear people say that kids should not come to cons like this, that they only get in the way.  These people have no souls, so ignore them and move on. (If you are one of these people and you are reading this, I’m sorry.  This post really won’t appeal to you.  Please check out my previous post on Death in Comics. Thank you.)

If you are bringing kids, and you have never been to a con, or to a con with kids, I thought it might be helpful to give you some tips on what to do to make the trip successful.  You are welcome to take this advice and have an awesome con experience that the whole family will cherish for the rest of their lives, or you’re welcome to ignore my advice completely and have an awful experience and never want to go back.  The choice is yours.  Here are my top 5 tips in no particular order:

1. Bring a carrier or stroller, or both. If your child is smallish, like really young, bring a carrier.  I would recommend a backpacking carrier that has a frame.  These offer better support for your back, and you will be able to carry your little one for longer.  If you can, and you are dressing up, make the carrier part of your costume.  For example, you could dress up as Luke training to be a Jedi, and your little one can be dressed as Yoda on your back.  That would be a winner in any cosplay contest.  Whatever kind of carrier you bring, I would suggest having a stroller on hand for when that kid becomes too heavy.  If you bring a stroller, it needs to be an umbrella stroller. They are small and compact and easy to maneuver in tight areas, like the whole vendor hall.  If you decide to bring a bigger stroller, again, try to make it part of your child’s cosplay.  I saw a great little baby Doctor in a TARDIS stroller at FanX.  Genius.  Just be prepared in a larger stroller to have more difficulty getting through the crowds, and you may get some dirty looks, but do what you need to do.  Do not come with nothing for your child.  They will get tired and will eventually not want to walk anymore.  Be prepared for that.

2. Bring cash.  Kids love to spend money, mostly because the money they spend is not theirs, and in return the money turns into something cool, like a painted face.  Bring a set amount of cash, whatever you can budget for, and when it is spent, it’s gone.  This will make it easier to not overspend, but enable you to do a few fun things with the kids.  Plus, if you show them your empty wallet, then they know the money is gone and will stop asking.  As long as they don’t know that you can just use your card (my kids know this, so we still have a battle, but at least I know when we are done).

3. Plan accordingly.  Chances are, your 5-year-old will not want to go to a panel discussing who your favorite Star Trek captain is, or which is better Marvel or DC, or really anything they discuss in the panels.  I know the panels are only 50 minutes long, but if you bring a 5-year-old into a dark room where nothing is happening except grown ups talking to each other, they will last maybe 5 minutes.  Don’t do it.  If you are bringing kids plan to spend most of the time on the vendor floor looking at stuff or going to KidsCon, if they are having it again this time, or just walking around looking at all the cool costumes.  That is the stuff your kids will find interesting, and it will be more enjoyable for you if they enjoy themselves.  If there are panels you want to go see, bring a friend or another parent and tag team.  You go to your panel while the other adult goes around with the kids, then you can switch as needed.

4. Don’t bring kids the whole time.  If you can help it, don’t bring kids the whole time.  Make sure you plan a little time sans kids.  This way, you can enjoy the con the way you want to enjoy the con.  Kids are great, but sometimes it is nice to get away from them for a while.  Going with your spouse or your friends is a great way to escape and enjoy some of the things you just couldn’t without kids.  Hire a babysitter, and for at least part of one day, try it without kids.

5.  Bring snacks.  This is an essential thing to do.  Kids will get hungry or thirsty or whatever.  Come prepared with snacks for them to eat when they are hungry.  Granola bars, or fruit snacks or fruit, any of those are great.  If you don’t do this, then you will be shelling our a lot of dough for food, that chances are your kids won’t eat all of anyway.  Bring water as well.  It will be hot and crowded and just miserable if you don’t have water, and that goes for the kids too.  Bring a couple of empty bottles and fill them up at the drinking fountains.  If you don’t, then again, be prepared to spend a lot for sodas, or spend a lot of time going back and forth to the drinking fountains.

The most important thing is to have fun with your kids.  Point out the cosplay of their favorite characters.  They think that stuff is awesome, and to them it is almost real.  When we went to Fantasy Con in July, my daughter was scared because she saw a Dalek, and thought it was real.  Luckily, Sylvester McCoy was there as one of the guests, so I brought over there and showed her and told her it was fine because the Doctor was here too.  When she saw him, from a distance, she was fine.  She recognized him as the 7th Doctor and knew she would be safe from the Daleks.  It wasn’t pretend to her.  it was real, and that makes a Con like this even more fun.

If you are planning on going next week, look for me, and stop and say hi.  My wife an I will be the ones with one umbrella stroller and 5 kids. They’ll all be in cosplay, more to come on that later.

Good Times

Today was a long day at work.  Not a bad day, just a long day.  Lots going on, people needing things, that kind of thing.  There were times when I had to quit my internet browsing and leave my office and do stuff.  It was exhausting.  It was the kind of day where all I wanted to do was come home, kick my shoes off, hop up on my bed, turn the TV on and crash.  That’s when it happened.  That’s when it always happens.  One of my kids will come in and climb up on the bed with me.  For those of you reading this that don’t have kids let me say 2 things.  First of all, I’m sorry.  If you don’t have kids, then this will be an extremely boring and pointless post so I would discourage you from reading further.  The second thing I want to say to the childless out there is that the first kid that comes in is only the scout.  They come in ahead of the invasion force.  It seems nice when they climb into bed with you and snuggle up to you, but trust me, they are just getting you to drop your defenses in preparation for the landing party.  Whatever thoughts you had about having some down time alone, forget them because it’s not happening.  In about 5 minutes, your bed is going to swarming with little ones.  And they know what they’re doing because they always send in the cutest one.  This is usually one of the younger kids and all they really want is a hug, and the minute you let them up, it’s over.  That was the position I found myself in.  And of course, the Doctor Who episode I was about to watch wasn’t going to happen either, because she wants to watch Daniel the Tiger.  And she doesn’t even have to pull out the big guns and start crying, she just looks at me with those big eyes and signs “tiger.”  Let me tell you, when your 2-year-old starts talking, it adorable, beyond cute.  The only thing cuter is when your deaf 2-year-old starts signing.  And we are trying to encourage her to use her signs more, so of course when she asks for something we feel more obligated to give in.  She knows this, and she knows that she now has all the power.

So that is how I found myself this evening after my long day at work, and I started thinking about it.  When was the last time I had a moment alone without the kids at home?  Now, if my wife is reading this (she claims to read all of my posts) she is probably rolling her eyes.  She is probably thinking, “He has no idea.” And she’s right.  She is at home with all 5 kids all day long, and my kids are needy.  I don’t know if everyone’s kids are super needy, but my kids just don’t stop asking for stuff.  Somehow, i lucked out in this deal because the kids have realized that whatever they need, mom does it better, so Dad can’t get them a drink because Mommy pours the Kool-Aid better somehow.  Basically, my kids think I am completely incapable.  So, I am sure that when my wife reads about me wondering when the last time was that the kids weren’t around she is just rolling her eyes. The point, though, is that I did remember.  It was when we dropped our kids off with family and escaped.  All the way to downtown Salt Lake City in April.  Think about this, we were so desperate to get away that we dropped the kids off at someone else’s house and then stayed in a hotel that was in our same city.  Why?  Because if we had gone home, there was a chance that the kids would have escaped and found us.  I wasn’t willing to take that chance. The last time before April, was probably Christmas, 2006, right before our oldest was born.

That’s what happens when you have kids, and that’s what happens when you have 5 kids all under the age of 8.  My wife has spent more time in our marriage being pregnant than not pregnant, and it’s not even close.  Once the kids start coming there is no me time anymore.  There’s barely any “couple time” anymore. There is just family time when you’re home.  Ok, obviously we had some couple time after the kids started coming along because the first kid was followed by kid number 2 and so on.  The problem with family time is that it happens all the time.  The kids are always there and you always feel like if you’re not spending time with them, then you are wasting that time.  What is more important than sitting down and playing with your kid?  Ok, right now, for me, it’s writing this blog post.

Why do we do it?  What happens that makes it so we turn our whole lives over to these little people?  Why do we put them in charge?  It doesn’t make sense, really.  We are bigger, smarter, faster, more coordinated.  In an actual, physical power struggle, there is no way the kids come out on top.  Even if they ganged up on me and my wife, and even though they out number us 5-2, I still think we could take them.  So why do I find myself eating imaginary cupcakes, and playing horsey, watching the episode of Barney for the umpteenth time?  I will tell you why.  Something happens when that baby is born.  You realize that you don’t matter.  Your wife doesn’t matter.  Neither of you really matter all that much compared to the kids.  They matter.  They become, almost instantly the most important people in the world to you.  When you hold that baby for the first time, at least with the first baby, you really have no idea how tiring or thankless a job it is to be a parent, but you do know that there pretty much nothing you would do for this baby.

It’s not thankless, though.  I’ll be honest, I love to tell people about my kids and spending time with my kids.  They think I am a good dad and I give up so much for them, but the truth is, I am in this for me.  There is nothing better in the world than spending time with my kids.  Nothing better than when I walk in the door and my girls scream with excitement and fight over who is going to give me a hug first.  There is nothing better than my two oldest kids fighting over who is going to sit by me.  When my son comes up to me and says, “Daddy, will you come watch My Neighbor Totoro with me?” my first thought is ugh…not again. Then I do it because it is always worth it.  My kids think I am the coolest guy in the world right now, and that does a lot for my ego.  Someday, they’re going to figure it out.  Someday they are going to meet a really cool dad, and realize that their dad was…well…not cool.  Then it will all stop.  They’ll be embarrassed to be seen with me out in public and want nothing to do with me at home.  In other words, I am not going to be this amazing rock star/super hero forever in their eyes, so i might as well fill the ego canteen now.  That’s why I spend so much time with them.  I like to tell people it all about them, but really, it’s about me and how rewarding it is for me.  If my kids ask you, though, tell them it’s really because Daddy loves them more than anything in the world.  That might be the truth anyway.

Geeks Make the Best Dads

Today I was talking with my younger son, Jak.  He just loves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles right now.  Like, he’s obsessed with them.  It doesn’t matter which version, as long as he is watching Mikey, Leo, Donnie, and Raph.  So, I was talking to him about when I was a kid and how I used to love the Ninja Turtles as well.  I was telling him how I got the coolest parachute pants for school one year.  They were neon green and had a picture of the 4 Turtles on one of the legs.  I loved those pants.  I wouldn’t be caught dead in them today, but back then, I loved them.  Then I told them how the Ninja Turtle “Coming out of Their Shells” Tour came to Salt Lake City, and how my mom took me to go see a bunch of guys in turtle costume pretend to be rock stars (yes that really happened).  He was amazed that I liked something he likes, and pretty excited too.  That’s when it hit me.  Geeks make the best dads.  I believe this statement is true, and I am going to give you 5 reasons right now.

1. It is easy to find some common ground with your kids.  When we found out that our first child was going to be a boy, I was so excited.  I couldn’t wait to teach him all about Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Super Heroes, Ninja Turtles, etc.  It was going to be epic.  One of the first things I bought our first little monster was a Spider-Man teething toy.  Johnny loved it.  It was soft, and made rattle noises and it had flat rubbery hands on feet for him to chew on.  As Johnny got older, I loved buying him his first action figures or his first super hero movie or his first Superman shirt.  My wife realized very quickly that the reason I was so excited to have a boy was so I had an excuse to buy all of this stuff that would normally be kids’ stuff.  I do that to this day.  That is a huge benefit to being a geeky dad.  I am into the same stuff my kids are into, so I can easily find common ground with them.  Especially this day and age when so much of the stuff we loved as kids is coming back.  I love buying the super hero figures and plain with them with my boys, or girls.  I love sitting down to watch movies with them, because they are the same movies I like.  This is a huge plus.

2.It is easy to teach your kids about diversity.  Think about it, as a geek I can draw on the worlds of Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Star Trek, Tolkien, Doctor Who and so on.  In each of these examples, there are a lot of people who are different, and they find ways to work together.  Raising my kids in a world where a Klingon can serve with honors aboard a Federation starship makes it easier to explain why the kid that looks different from them isn’t really that different.  They are used to seeing stories and worlds where everybody looks different, but everybody is the same and equal.  It’s a good message for them to grow up with and it is easy to teach when you’re a geek.

3. You don’t take life too seriously.  Keeping one foot in the world of fantasy makes it easier to not take life too seriously sometimes.  Don’t get me wrong, as a father or mother, there is a lot you need to take seriously.  Providing for your kids is a big responsibility, so you can’t let your escape into fantasy distract from things like having a steady job so you can pay the bills.  Where this skill comes in handy is for the little stuff, that isn’t really that important.  Like coming home to bed and your bedroom destroyed.  Why?  Because your son was just playing Marvel guys on your bed.  As a geeky dad, you can look at that and jump right in “I get to be Colossus this time!” Normally, a dad could freak out at this moment, but not a geeky dad. He just joins the fun.  Your kids will learn that they can relate to you, because you have always related to them.  Playing on the bed may be silly at the time, but when that relationship grows and matures and they come to you with the really big stuff later, you’ll be glad you were a geek dad.

4. You feed their imagination.  There is a lot of garbage out there that is somehow designed to kill your kids’ imagination.  I used to think that imagination was only important if you wanted to write lots of cool stories or make pretty art or things like that.  Imagination is so much more than that.  It is the ability to see the world, not just as it is, but how you could make it.  It is the seed of invention and problem solving, and our kids are losing it everyday.  It all starts with the games they play as little ones.  They see the world with wonder and amazement and this causes them to imagine ways to make the real world like what they see.  The other day, my 2 oldest kids went to go see a Super Deafy movie, which had a super hero in it played by a deaf actor.  At the end of the movie, Super Deafy made an appearance in the theater.  My son and daughter were very excited and got their picture taken with him.  A couple of days later, Jak saw the picture and said to my wife “I knewed it.  I knewed that Super Heroes existed in our world.”  That’s how a kid sees the world.  That’s imagination, and as a geeky dad, you get it and you can feed that imagination, and help your kids to grow up to be the next innovator and problem solver.

5. You know what it’s like to be different.  Chances are, you might have a kid who is a little different, whatever that difference is.  As a geek, you have been there, and you know how it feels.  You’ll know how to be there for them when the other kids might pick on them a little bit, and you’ll know how to comfort them when the kids are just mean.  You’ll know that they don’t want to hear your stories about how you suffered through and toughened up or that someday it will all be better.  No, you’ll know that all they really want is to come home and be hugged and have someone look at them and love them for who they are.  You’ll know that all they really need is to know that you are there for them and in their corner.  You’ll know that because that’s all you really needed.  You had that person who helped you along the way, that you looked up to.  You’ll know that your kids see you as that person, their super heroes, and you’ll live up to it, because as a geek, when you became a dad you realized that it was a great power and privilege you had been blessed with, and you heard Uncle Ben’s words: “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

So all you single ladies that read this blog, if you’re looking for a man to be your mate and the father of your children, then look for a geek, because they make the best dads.

Movie Discount Tuedsdays-How to Train YourDragon 2

51ygh9rr5jL._SY300_

One thing I have always geeked out about is going to the movies.  I have so many fantastic memories of sitting in a show house and not just seeing a film, but experiencing it.  I remember seeing Jurassic Park for the first time, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Back to the Future 3, Superman 4, Star Wars Episode I, any number of Star Trek Films, etc.  It’s no coincidence that the first job I ever had, was with our local theater.  They could have just paid me in free movies and I would have been happy.  Eventually, I worked in the projection booth, which I loved because I could just go from movie to movie and just enjoy them.  I just love it.  The smell of popcorn, the sticky floors, the fading lights, all of it is just fantastic.  And this is especially great in the summer time.  It’s been a while since I’ve been able to go regularly to see movies.  Watching movies in general has changed so much over the years.  Now, we have a giant screen TV in our basement and great sound and high def, so it is almost like the theater experience at home, but there is something about sitting in a room of complete strangers and enjoying a show together.  That can’t be duplicated.  Like I said, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to do that.  Once we started having kids, red box and NetFlix, and at one time Blockbuster became our best friends.  But that’s starting to change.  My oldest son is just getting old enough to start really enjoying going to the movies.  I might just have my new movie buddy.  I figure this is a good thing, because I can start raising him right and taking him to see the good stuff.  I have been thinking about beginning a series here about going to movies with my son, but it gets pretty pricey, and that was the main draw back.  Well, that has changed.  Our local Cinemark does discount Tuesdays where the movies are just $5.  That’s not too shabby.  If we can both go for a total of $10, I can make this happen much more frequently.  Added bonus: Quality time with the boy, which every young man needs.  Another benefit of the Cinemark is that they are the only local theater that offers good closed captioning devices on each of their titles.  Our other major brand locally only offers it for select titles at select times.  This is a big deal since my oldest is deaf and would also like to enjoy the dialogue of the film.

Tonight’s feature was How to Train Your Dragon 2.  The two of us had gone together when the first one came out, and he has loved the film ever since.  When he saw there was a sequels coming out, he couldn’t wait to go see it.  I loved the first film.  I loved that Hiccup was a hero by being himself and helping his Dad to come around.  He was different from the other vikings, but that difference made all the difference.  I felt like it had a lot of heart, and I wasn’t sure how the sequel would be able to capture that same heart again.  I mean, he changed the town’s way of thinking, they liked the dragons now, so what was there left to do?  Well, they did it.  They found a way.  To me, the overall message of the film was to not back down from what you believe is right.  Stand for it.  I like that message.  Besides that, the animation is fantastic and the setting is beautiful and the dragons and vikings are cool.  I would have loved this franchise as a kid. What’s not to love?    It has action, adventure, dragons.  Just great.  Plus, my son loved it as much as the original.  His first question when it was over was: “When does number 3 come out?”  I think one thing that this film does is the number of dragon species.  Each species has its own special characteristics.  This gives it an obsessibility factor, similar to Pokemon or Skylanders, but cooler because it’s dragons.  It was an overall fun flick, so I would recommend it.  The best part was watching my son enjoy it.  He was glued the whole time and was a little sad when it was over.  So it gets his approval as well.  It looked great in 2D, so I don’t think it would be worth seeing in 3D, which I feel is typically overrated and overhyped.  The animation was great, on level with anything Pixar has done.  It was full of similar humor to the first movie, which kept it light, but it was serious too.  There is a moment, fair warning, where someone dies that is pretty important to our hero.  It drives the point home, without over playing it.  My son felt the seriousness of what was happening, but I don’t think he was scarred for life.  Overall, go see it.  In  fact, if you have the opportunity, go with your kids, and take them on a Tuesday to Cinemark and save a few bucks.